Simply the Dumbest: Rangers' Top 10 Most Mortifying Moments

Misread banners, missed pens, a McCoist meltdown, a Private Dick, and an online spat with Little Mix fans - the top ten Follow Follow follies of Rangers Football Club and their fans.

Before we dive into the main event, our handpicked Top 10 Rangers Follies that have had Celtic fans in stitches for years, let’s warm up with some honourable mentions. These are the self-inflicted wounds that prove Rangers Football Club and their fan base has been a comedy goldmine, long before liquidation.

When Pope Benedict XVI ascended in 2005, Rangers FC banned Eggs Benedict from Ibrox catering menus. Yes, really. “Papal eggs” were deemed too provocative, lest a Bear choke on holiness pre-match. Fast forward, and they extended the paranoia to Becks beer, outlawing the green bottles because, well, green is Celtic’s colour. Who needs refreshment when you’ve got principles?

It didn’t stop there. Pepperami snacks? Banned for their green wrappers, a sectarian sausage conspiracy that saw Rangers raging at the fenian sausage colours. Then came the hover pitch!

And don’t get us started on Charles Green. In a fit of delusion, he announced a “strategic partnership” with the Dallas Cowboys. The NFL giants? Utterly baffled, issuing a polite “WTF?” to yours truly in an exclusive article for Scotzine back in the day. Green pressed on regardless, turning embarrassment into transatlantic farce. Finally, who can forget the Florida Cup when Spongebob Squarepants lined up alongside the Rangers team for pre-match team shots before Rangers returned to Glasgow hailing victory in the Cup, only to realise the following day that they hadn’t actually won the tournament.

These laughable calls, from sausage bans to Star Wars pitch tech, set the stage perfectly. Pathetic? Embarrassing? Understatement. They whet the appetite for our Top 10, where Rangers and their howling Huns truly outdid themselves in epic idiocy. Buckle up, Timmy - the Bears’ blunder bonanza awaits.

Rangers vs Little Mix: The Christmas Chart Catfight of 2016

Ah, the festive season of 2016, a time for mulled wine, family gatherings, and Rangers fans picking a fight with Little Mix fans over the Christmas number one. Yes, really. While normal folk were dreaming of what Santa would pull out of his big red sack, the Ibrox faithful launched a bizarre campaign to blast “Glad All Over” by The Dave Clark Five to the top spot, all because it was their terrace ditty honouring striker Joe Garner. Clean Bandit snagged the actual No.1 with “Rockabye,” but Rangers’ push charted it at No.31 their highest finish, beating out tributes and charity singles. Little Mix’s Touch hit No.4, sparking an online war where the silly billies accused the girl group fans of vote‑rigging, cyber‑bullying, and probably stealing their mince pies.

It was peak Rangers delusion, thinking a 1964 relic could out‑pop a chart smash from Perrie, Jade, Leigh‑Anne, and Jesy. Social media melted down with memes of Joe Garner dressed as Santa, but the real comedy was Rangers fans treating this like a title decider. One Follow Follow thread devolved into 500 replies blaming “IRA sympathisers” for the chart flop, because of course it was Celtic’s fault.

​Celtic fans watched from afar, chuckling as the enemy self‑destructed into irrelevance. It peaked when a Rangers podcaster claimed the band were “closet Tim Malloy,” prompting actual death threats from hormonal tweens. The Rangers fans lost the chart battle, the PR war, and what dignity they had. Merry Christmas, indeed, to us. Ho ho ho, what a bunch of muppets.

Dublin Airport Scores on Rangers’ Penalties

Sunday, March 8, 2026: Rangers choke spectacularly in the Scottish Cup fifth round at Ibrox against Celtic, missing two penalties as James Tavernier skyed his high into orbit, Djeidi Gassama followed suit like a tribute act. Cue meltdown on the park from raging huns as they tried to attack jubilant Celtic fans. But the real kicker? Dublin Airport’s official twitter account taking the absolute piss, tweeting: “Our FOD team just recovered two ‘RFC’ footballs from beside our north runway – they landed just after 3.30 pm and came from Glasgow direction”. Savagery. As Celtic fans partied, an Irish airport joined the fun.

Rangers supporters, ever the victims, flooded replies. One angry Rangers fan tagged in the Guards to report the admin of the Airport’s social media account others demanded the Irish government intervene.

The comedy gold: Rangers fans claiming they were going to boycott flights to Dublin, as if they ever holiday classy. Dublin Airport stole the weekend’s most viral moment, turning Rangers choking into viral legend. Bears blocked the account en masse, proving they’re allergic to banter. Next time, aim for the goal, not the Emerald Isle skies.

Paddy Power’s Fan Denial: Mockery of Rangers Fans’ Social Media Commentary

Paddy Power@paddypower

Oh dear. Celtic dumped Rangers out of the cup and the Union Bears got a wee bit angry. Gimp masks, belly pats and spaghetti hoops... here we go with a special edition of Fan Denial 👇 18+ GambleAware

9:46 PM · Mar 9, 2026 · 245K Views

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109 Replies · 1.06K Reposts · 5.38K Likes

Paddy Power’s “Fan Denial” feature is a gift to humanity, spotting delusional club posts and highlighting them for all the world to see. Rangers? Prime targets, their Twitter a banquet of delusion turned laughing stock. Bears seethe regularly at the Irish bookies social media account, but it nailed their eternal also‑ran status. Regularly, PP hijacks Rangers’ boasts before they come crashing down to earth with a thud.

Tina Turner’s Great Rangers Rejection Saga

Rangers’ Tina Turner obsession is comedy folklore. “Simply the Best” their anthem since the 1990s, broadcast their air of superiority over Scottish Football along with their claims of being the most successful club in the world. In 2010, bigoted Follow Follow owner Mark Dingwall rallies Rangers fans to re‑chart Simply the Best for Christmas No.1. Tina’s management? “Couldn’t care less.” A year later, her publicist blasts the UDA for using the song title on their Taiwan made flags, calling out Rangers also in the process for using the song.

​In 1995, the Ibrox club hired an impersonator for a Hibs game sing‑along on pitch as Truly Tina wiggled while fans bellow. Cringe. Then our pal Dingwall pops up again as he holds a Tina Turner tribute night hosted by a X Factor 2015 flop who finished 13th, all for the price of £32 a ticket. Sellout? Nah, half‑empty. Now Celtic hijacks it, belting it out every time we play Rangers, as the Bears apoplectic with rage now know that Celtic are the superior club and the fans mock their city rivals by singing their anthem that even Tina Turner couldn’t care less about when it came to the Ibrox side.

Achill Island CSC: The Rangers support’s Illiteracy Rage

In the week of Lee Rigby’s horrific murder in 2013 at the hands of two islamic terrorists, Rangers fans spotted an Achill Islam CSC banner at a Celtic game, they erupt on socials claiming that Celtic fans were celebrating Rigby’s death!” UK papers ran the stories. It was a Rage tsunami. The only problem was that the banner said Achill Island CSC not Achill Islam.

Achill Island, off Ireland’s west coast, an innocent supporters’ group. Rangers fans couldn’t read, blamed their rivals anyway. Newspapers sheepishly delete their online hatchet jobs. Once again Rangers fans look daft. We laughed for weeks.

Morelos’ “Celtic Assassins”: Wife’s Tracker Drama

Rangers fans screamed in 2020 that Celtic fans were plotting to bomb Morelos’ car or tried to cut his brakes. Papers run wild: “Tim terror on striker!” Turns out, his pregnant wife hired a private detective to tail the cheating Alfredo as he was caught planting a tracker, not a bomb.

No verification, pure hysteria. Bears demanded action and then the Wife was exposed, story crumbles. Pathetic fantasy once again from the Paranoid blue brethern.

Beasley’s Firebombed BMW: Gangster Girlfriend

In 2010, newspapers in Scotland and in America reported an arson attack on Rangers forward DaMarcus Beasley’s car which had been torched outside his home. Rangers fans took to social media to quickly blame Celtic fans for the attack. Hacks implied it. Even Beasley tried to imply that it was the result of a Celtic-Rangers ‘thing’ - but it soon transpired that the Yank had been a naughty boy and had been shagging a local gangster’s girlfriend - the result? His car going up in flames - a warning shot to stay away from her. There was a Police probe that ended with no leads funnily enough. The raging huns went silent.

McGregor’s High Heel Beating by his girlfriend

In 2010, Rangers keeper Allan McGregor was reportedly attacked by Celtic fans after a post‑night out. The then-Scotland international was treated at Glasgow’s Southern General Hospital before being discharged.

A complaint was made by McGregor in relation to being assaulted on Bath Street, Glasgow. The papers ran the stories, the Rangers fans demanded those Celtic fans who violently attacked their keeper be hunted down and jailed.

Sadly, once again, Rangers fans fell flat on their face as the truth was finally aired. Then girlfriend Leah Shelvin had battered him with her high heel over McGregor being photographed arm in arm with two lassies on the night out.

Shelvin was later arrested and charged with wasting police time. The charges were soon dropped thanks to her links with a top ranking copper in the Police force in Glasgow.

Lies exposed, no punishment. Pathetic liars. No apologies once again.

McCoist’s Bus Fire Conspiracy

In 2013, there was a fire at the depot of Bruce’s Coaches in Salsburgh, Lanarkshire. Four buses went up in flames including a £500,000 renovated team bus for Rangers FC. Manager Ally McCoist raged and implied that Celtic fans were behind the arson attack without going as far as saying it. He claimed it was a premeditated attack on the Rangers’ bus.

Police later ruled out any sectarian or football rivalry behind the attack. McCoist slithered away with his tail between his legs.

Scotch & Wry’s Catholic Signing Sketch

Scottish comedic genius Rikki Fulton aimed his sights on Rangers in 1979 during one of his many superb Scotch & Wry comedy sketches. Starring himself alongside the late great Gerard Kelly and Gregor Fisher of later Rab C Nesbitt fame - Fulton was pretending to be the Rangers manager at the time and signed Kelly’s prolific striker character on the recommendation of Fisher as a Rangers scout.

What transpired was an epic parody of the well known anti-Catholic signing policy instituted by Rangers at the time. However, years later it was only disclosed - by Fisher during BBC Scotland’s Off the Ball radio show - that Rangers had taken legal advice and tried to get an injunction to stop the sketch from airing.

You have to watch it to see how absolutely brilliant Fulton really was.

There you have it, Rangers’ top 10 spectacular fuck-ups, a history of delusion that keeps Celtic fans roaring with laughter at the Ibrox side. From Tina snubs to tracker tricks, Rangers fans prove they’re their own worst enemy. What’s your favourite Hun howler? Drop it in the comments, share the laughs, and let’s keep laughing at them!