Barry Ferguson and the Staunch Brigade: Rangers’ Latest Interim Experiment Promises Chaos, Comedy, and a Whole Lot of Nostalgia

Watching Rangers stumble from one crisis to the next never gets old. After sacking Philippe Clement, they’ve turned to Barry Ferguson and the Bank of Staunch to save their season.

Few things are more joyous than watching Rangers lurch from one disaster to the next, like a giraffe trying to roller skate. Their latest masterstroke? Sacking Philippe Clement and replacing him with Barry Ferguson, a man whose managerial career peaked at Alloa Athletic. To add to the chaos, they’ve assembled a backroom staff straight out of an Ibrox reunion dinner: Neil McCann, Billy Dodds, and Allan McGregor. It’s like they’ve raided the Bank of Staunch, hoping nostalgia will fix their 13-point deficit to Celtic and turn around their fortunes before the end of the season.

Let’s set the scene: Rangers, trailing Celtic by a baker’s dozen in the Premiership, decided the best way to salvage their season was to sack Clement after a dismal 2-0 defeat to St Mirren. In their infinite wisdom, they’ve turned to Barry Ferguson, a man whose managerial CV reads like a pub quiz answer no one could guess: Clyde, Kelty Hearts, and Alloa Athletic. Yes, the same Barry Ferguson who hasn’t managed a team since 2022 and has spent the time since writing articles in crayon for the Daily Record.

Ferguson’s backroom team is equally inspired. Neil McCann, Billy Dodds, and Allan McGregor have all been drafted in, presumably because they know the words to "Follow Follow" and can still fit into their old Rangers suits and brown brogues that have been gathering dust in the shrine of Staunchness that has been neglected since Jimmy Bell popped his clogs and went to the great lodge in the sky. Rounding out the squad is Issame Charai, the lone non-Ibrox legend in the group, who must feel like the designated driver at a stag do. Together, they form the ultimate interim dream team—a group of familiar faces tasked with injecting “positivity” into a season that has been about as positive as lancing an anal wart.

Ferguson’s first test? A trip to Rugby Park to face Kilmarnock. If ever there was a baptism of fire, it’s this. Kilmarnock have already shown this season that they’re no pushovers, and the prospect of Ferguson pacing the touchline, flanked by McCann and Dodds, is enough to make even the most staunch Rangers fan reach for the smelling salts.

Of course, this is all happening against the backdrop of Rangers’ supposed takeover by US investors. One can only imagine the boardroom conversations: “Hey, let’s sack the manager, appoint a club legend with minimal experience, and hope the new owners don’t notice the mess we’ve made by the time they arrive.” It’s a bold strategy. Let’s see if it pays off.

As a Celtic fan, it’s hard not to chuckle at the sheer cluster fuck of it all. Rangers’ ability to turn a crisis into a full-blown farce is truly unparalleled. It’s like watching a soap opera where every episode ends with someone setting fire to themselves.

But let’s not be too harsh on Ferguson. After all, he’s a Rangers legend, and if anyone knows what it means to wear the jersey, it’s him. The problem is, knowing what it means to wear the jersey doesn’t necessarily translate to knowing how to manage a football team - as he has already shown in his short managerial career. Still, if nothing else, his appointment guarantees some top-tier entertainment for the rest of us.

So, as Rangers embark on yet another chapter of their never-ending quest to stop the dominance of Celtic, the rest of Scottish football can sit back, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the show. Because if there’s one thing Rangers are good at, it’s providing comedy gold. And for that, we thank them.